in search of confidence & female empowerment with Kiana

Mind My Story conversation with entrepreneur Kiana Noble

Kiana Noble is the founder of Lingerie and Literature, a lingerie and loungewear brand inspired by works of literature. The brand originally started as a way for Kiana to express herself and her two core passions: lingerie and literature. As a multidimensional woman, she is a strong believer that women can be seen and can exist with a variety of different sides to them: “The world often feels like it’s trying to categorise and label you and pressure you to fit into a certain box, but you can have two sides and you don’t need to be defined by specific labels.”

Kiana’s aim is to show that you can successfully bring together two demographics of females – one that adores literature, and second one that likes and appreciates the value of lingerie. Even more so, her true goal is to show that a single female can in parallel like the two just as much. Therefore in a way, I would like to think that Kiana aims to change how we perceive and think of ourselves as worthy females - being confident to embrace whatever we like and adore.

Lingerie & Literature is here to uplift women and have them explore all of their interests, by allowing them to be confident about who they are, without the need to appease others. Last week, I sat down with Kiana to talk about what being a confident and empowered woman means to her, and where does she draw her inner strength from. 

LP: Can you tell me one thing that you feared  when you started Lingerie & Literature? 

KN: When I started Lingerie & Literature, it was just a blog that I did in college while I was still actively applying to jobs in the corporate world. I knew I wanted to post about lingerie I loved, but I was a little hesitant employers would not like that. I do sometimes model for my lingerie and post on my Instagram, so if you Google my name, you can probably find me in my underwear, which back in the day (and by back in the day, I mean a couple of years ago lol) that was definitely not encouraged. Having a “professional” social media presence with no signs of red solo cups and skimpy outfits was preferred. So that was something I had to really think about – do I want to be modelling and having it online as this can affect my future job opportunities? After some more reflection, I decided that I wanted to stay true to myself. I thought to myself, “I like this, and I support this.” Lingerie & Literature is about empowering women and if an employer wouldn’t be able to understand and respect what I’m trying to make here then I probably don’t want to be employed at this company. And so far I haven’t had any problems and most people are impressed. So that’s great, but that was definitely a big fear at the beginning. 

LP: It’s really cool that you model for your lingerie as I think it makes you closer to the brand and helps you to truly stand for it. What did it take you to build up the strength to get over the worry that your future employees might be judging you by your publicly available photos? Or were you always quite bold about it? 

KN: I guess it’s a little bit of both. It’s a little bit of a risk analysis, but I was mostly reflecting on what I want to do and what I believe in. And I’m doing it in a classy way, it’s not super vulgar provocative photos. Being confident with my story and being able to tell people that these are the reasons why I do what I do is also really important. 

LP: What does being confident mean, look and feel to you? Outside the obvious of being able to take photos of yourself in lingerie!

KN: I have been thinking a lot recently and I will say that I think I’m one of the lucky ones that had innate confidence. In fact, in elementary school, I got bullied for being too “conceited” and I remember going home crying to my mom that people were calling me that and I had to learn how to act more humble (kids then were even trying to bring down my confidence *sigh*). Anyways, I’ve been actually trying to think of where that confidence came from. And I guess it came from my mom and the way she raised me. 

But at the same time, as much as I think I’m overall a very confident woman, I do think that you always have your moments of insecurity. And in order to get past them that you need to do inner reflection and understand what you’re being insecure about. 

I think what my mom has taught me pretty well is to not compare yourself to anyone else. I think it’s a key to having pretty good self-confidence. But with that said, I still do catch myself comparing to others from time to time, and if you do that – you’re naturally just going to go in a downward spiral! And I think that’s something about Lingerie and Literature and what we’re trying to push is that it’s really important to embrace other women and respect what they are doing and be able to do so without comparing yourself to them. 

LP: Yeah… And I can relate, because I always compare myself to everyone and it’s something I actively try not to do, but then I forget to stop myself! What have you found has worked best for you to help you stop comparing yourself to others? 

KN: So I think what my mom told me is that there is always gonna be someone prettier than you, smarter than you, more successful than you. That is just a fact. It’s important to remember somebody else’s accomplishments don’t have an impact on your worthiness. And I think for me, accepting that is what gives me confidence. 

LP: From your personal development perspective, do you always have a vision that you’re striving for? 

KN: I have goals but I’m pretty flexible on it. And what helps me not to be very anxious with work and school is remembering what really matters. So at the end of the day, I know that relationships are the most important part of my life. So if I keep that in my mind, it helps me to not get too stressed out when I need to complete an assignment or a job that day. I try to remind myself that I will do my best to achieve in the field I’m working on, but at the end of the day my focus should be on cultivating healthy and happy relationships with my boyfriend, my family and my friends. 

LP: Have you found that the pandemic changed your perspectives in any way at all? 

KN: I have always enjoyed a slower pace of life and the pandemic has re-emphasised that I want to continue living like that.  And I think it also made me more appreciative of how lucky we are to be able to go outside and have conversations with our friends. That’s the true luxury I think. And I think both you and I were very fortunate that our jobs were not taken away from us, so only the ability to see loved ones and to be able to socialise with them is what was limited. 

LP:  So you’re studying for your Masters, working in a tech startup, run Lingerie & Literature and also want to nurture your relationships. What does a good work life balance look to you like? 

KM: This is something that I struggle with as I get a sense of guilt if I’m not being productive. And not being productive is something that I am constantly working on and telling myself to be ok with. 

But at the same time, I’m definitely not the type of person who will feel guilty logging off work at around 5pm. I am pretty nine to five with my career because I have my side hustle and school and I know I’m still going to be productive in other areas of my life once I get off work. And personally, I know that I’m not lazy and I don’t feel like I need to prove that to anyone. Where the guilt really comes into play is with social obligations. If I have a weekend when I’m doing brunch on Saturday and Sunday I will be telling myself ‘Oh Kiana you’re not doing enough, you need to be more responsible’. So I guess with that part I have a harder time letting go.  

LP: And what is ‘enough’ for you? You know I struggle with that a lot and a lot of the times I’m finding that our personal wellbeing is down to how we define it. 

KN: I think it’s about being able to check off two or three things on your to-do list a day, whether they are big or small tasks. What helps me with Lingerie & Literature, which might not help me in the future, is that I haven’t put too much of a time pressure on it. However when I start working with investors, then I will have to put pressure on myself to make sure Lingerie & Literature scales at the pace that meets their expectations.

I think with a lot of women, especially since we are told we have this biological clock, we feel the pressure of time more than men. And I think it’s important to understand that us women can take our time. I don’t need to make it to Forbes 30 under 30. If I did – great, but if I’m Forbes 50 under 50 that’s also great. And who even says I need to make it to Forbes in the first place?!

Doing enough is something I do struggle with. I have to keep reminding myself that I’m fine and that my productivity is not a reflection on my worth. If I enjoy the process of the work I’m doing, I think it’s the most important part. 

LP: Yeah, I agree. I think it’s interesting – I always question why certain people get up on Forbes 30 under 30, and not others. How do you even define what success looks like, when we live in a society full of stereotypes, especially for women. 

KN: That’s also another great point with comparing. You can always compare, but you don’t know their full story. Someone could be seemingly more successful than others, but they could be struggling with X, Y and Z. Or maybe they had more privilege than you and that’s why they are where they are now. So it’s also important to remember that. 

LP: What are your top 3 self-love and wellbeing routines that you like to go back to when you’re not feeling the best, however often that is? 

KN: I have the occasional episode of depression and insomnia, maybe like once or twice a year, but the rest of the time I’ll be pretty good. And I think for those times it’s about letting yourself indulge and not put pressure on yourself.  I had really bad insomnia at the beginning of June when I literally could not sleep, and it didn’t get better until I allowed myself to just indulge and take care of myself as I would if I were trying to help out a friend. I bought a head massager, a back massager, a heat pad, and CBD oil. Not saying that buying things is always the answer, but for this instance, it was about allowing myself to relax and treating myself. It honestly helped me to calm down and get into a better headspace.

Secondly, I think making sure you always have someone you can talk to is very important. I know it’s hard for some people to open up, but when I do open up and ask for help, it does wonders.

Lastly, I think for me routine is what keeps me healthy. Sticking to your routine and making sure it incorporates exercise, going outside, eating well so you feel well, making sure you go to sleep at the same time helps to maintain the overall mental health. 

LP: Thank you. One last thing before we close off. It’s worth mentioning you’re currently crowdfunding for Lingerie & Literature. It would be great to hear quickly of what it is all about and also what emotions and thoughts are going through your head as you’re doing it?

KN: Well I don’t think I’m going to meet my goal. But I think from a mental health and confidence aspect, it’s important to talk about it.  For one, I think I’m not comfortable asking people for money, especially for underwear?! (Kiana laughs). It is hard because you have to get over the mental roadblock. Just asking is a mental roadblock,  whether it’s asking for money or for help. 

And I think crowdfunding is especially hard, because you get loads of highs and lows with it.  When I get money in – it’s a high, but then when I don’t get any money in for a few days, that’s a low. 

But for me in this journey, I’m not putting too much pressure on myself. I think what’s important is that you shouldn’t be afraid to fail. As I’ve said – there is a pretty good chance I won’t meet my goal, which I did make very high, but it’s frankly what you need to ethically produce a product. But even though I have a month or so left to promote it, I’m just going to keep doing it and see where it goes. So yeah, I think being able to fail is so important, because you will learn so much along the way. And already, I have learned so much. 

If you want to support Lingerie & Literature’s second collection that will be inspired by works of Shakespeare, click the link below: https://kubacker.hubbub.net/p/lingerieandliterature/

//Photo and design credits of the first Lingerie & Literature collection (pictured above) @hillary_jeanne and @lazygirllingerie. 

// Mind My Story is a series of stories about creatives, entrepreneurs and people just like you and me. We talk about Mental Health and Wellbeing, what it takes to be creative on a daily basis and how to keep the spark going to find your purpose in life.

If you think you have a story to share, I can't wait to hear from you. DM me on instagram@CANVASBYLP or email me at canvasbylp@gmail.com. 

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